Most people set goals the wrong way. They focus on what they want to achieve instead of who they need to become. Here’s why that’s backwards—and how to fix it.
Every January, the cycle repeats.
You sit down with a fresh notebook or a new app. You write out your goals. Maybe you make them SMART. Maybe you create a vision board. Maybe you tell yourself this year will be different.
And then, by February, you’ve lost momentum. By March, you’ve quietly abandoned half of them. By December, you’re wondering why you can’t seem to make progress on the things you claim to want.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: The problem isn’t your discipline. It’s not your goals. It’s that you’re setting goals that aren’t authentically yours.
After 15+ years of coaching people on productivity, time management, and goal achievement, I’ve seen this pattern repeat itself thousands of times. And I’ve discovered that the people who actually achieve their goals do something fundamentally different from everyone else.
They don’t start by asking what they want to accomplish.
They start by asking who they need to become.
The Fatal Flaw in Traditional Goal Setting
Let me ask you something: When was the last time you set goals because you genuinely felt called to them, versus setting them because you felt like you should?
Most people approach goal setting like filling out a mandatory form. They feel obligated to have goals, so they write down the usual suspects:
- Lose 20 pounds
- Make six figures
- Publish a book
- Get promoted
- Build better relationships
These aren’t necessarily bad goals. But here’s the question that matters: Are these goals actually yours? Or are they what you think successful people are supposed to want?
When your goals aren’t aligned with who you truly are and who you want to become, it doesn’t matter how disciplined you try to be. You’re essentially asking yourself to maintain motivation for something that doesn’t resonate at your core.
This is why productivity systems fail. This is why New Year’s resolutions crumble. This is why you can’t seem to stay consistent.
You’re trying to force yourself to care about goals that aren’t authentically yours.
The Three-Step Framework for Setting Goals That Actually Stick
Forget everything you’ve learned about SMART goals for a moment. Before we get to the tactical side of goal setting, we need to build the foundation that makes everything else work.
Here’s the framework that changes everything:
Step 1: Define Who You Want to Become (Not What You Want to Achieve)
This is where most people get it backwards.
Traditional goal setting asks: What do I want to accomplish?
Identity-based goal setting asks: Who do I need to be to accomplish what I want?
Here’s how this works:
Instead of writing “I want to lose 20 pounds,” you start by defining: “I am a healthy, active person who takes care of their body.”
Instead of “I want to build a successful business,” you define: “I am a committed entrepreneur who shows up consistently.”
Instead of “I want better relationships,” you define: “I am a caring, attentive partner who prioritizes the people I love.”
Notice the difference? You’re not focusing on the outcome. You’re focusing on the identity.
The Power of “I Am” Statements
Here’s the exercise that will transform your entire approach to 2026:
Project yourself to December 31, 2026. Who are you at that moment? Not what have you achieved—who have you become?
Write out your “I am” statements in present tense:
- I am…
- I am…
- I am…
Examples:
- “I am energetic and take care of my physical health.”
- “I am a disciplined creator who ships work consistently.”
- “I am financially responsible and make decisions aligned with my long-term vision.”
- “I am present and attentive with the people who matter most.”
- “I am someone who respects my time and sets clear boundaries.”
This might feel strange at first. You’re declaring something that isn’t yet true as if it already is.
That’s exactly the point.
When you define who you want to be in the present tense, you step into that identity immediately. You start making decisions from that place. You start asking yourself: “What would this version of me do right now?”
And here’s the beautiful part: When you frame your goals around identity, you immediately know if they’re authentic to you or not.
If saying “I am a marathon runner” feels forced and inauthentic, maybe running a marathon isn’t actually your goal. Maybe it’s something you think you should want.
But if saying “I am someone who moves their body daily and feels energized” resonates deeply, now you’re onto something real.
Step 2: Define Your Goals Based on Your Identity
Once you’ve defined your “I am” statements, the goals become obvious.
For each identity statement, ask yourself: What would this version of me naturally do? What goals would align with this identity?
Let’s say one of your “I am” statements is: “I am a healthy person who prioritizes my physical wellbeing.”
Goals that align with this identity might include:
- Work out 4 times per week
- Meal prep every Sunday
- Get 7-8 hours of sleep consistently
- Run a 5K by June
- Reduce processed food intake by 80%
Notice how the goals flow naturally from the identity? You’re not forcing yourself to want these things. You’re simply asking: What would a healthy person who prioritizes their wellbeing naturally do?
This is the difference between motivation and identity.
Motivation is trying to force yourself to do something you don’t really want to do.
Identity is doing what naturally aligns with who you are (or who you’re becoming).
Make Your Goals Concrete and Measurable
While we’re not getting into full SMART goal territory, your goals should be specific enough that you know whether you’ve achieved them or not.
Vague goal: “Get healthier” Concrete goal: “Work out 4 times per week for at least 30 minutes”
Vague goal: “Grow my business” Concrete goal: “Generate $10K/month in revenue by Q4”
Vague goal: “Be more present with family” Concrete goal: “Have device-free dinners 5 nights per week”
The more specific your goals, the easier they are to track and the clearer your path forward becomes.
Step 3: Set Standards That Support Your Identity
Here’s where everything comes together.
Goals tell you what to achieve. Standards tell you how you’ll get there.
Standards are the non-negotiable behaviors, attitudes, and commitments that support your identity and goals.
This is often the missing piece. People set goals but don’t establish the standards required to achieve them. Then they wonder why they can’t stay consistent.
Let me give you some examples:
If your identity is “I am a healthy, active person”:
Your standards might be:
- I move my body every single day, even if just for 10 minutes
- I prioritize sleep over late-night scrolling
- I eat whole foods 80% of the time
- I don’t skip workouts unless I’m sick or injured
If your identity is “I am a professional who respects their time and value”:
Your standards might be:
- I charge rates that reflect my actual worth
- I don’t take calls or meetings without clear agendas
- I block time for deep work and protect it fiercely
- I say no to projects that don’t align with my goals
If your identity is “I am a present, caring partner”:
Your standards might be:
- I put my phone away during dinner
- I dedicate at least 30 minutes of quality time with my partner daily
- I ask about their day before talking about mine
- I show up consistently in small ways, not just big gestures
Why Standards Change Everything
Standards are what separate people who achieve their goals from people who just set them.
When you have clear standards, discipline becomes easier because you’re not making the same decision over and over. You’ve already decided. You’re just honoring your standards.
Standards are the rules you set for yourself that are aligned with who you want to be.
They’re not imposed from outside. They’re not things you should do. They’re the natural expression of your chosen identity.
And here’s what’s powerful: When you set standards, you operate at a completely different level. You’re not trying to be disciplined. You’re simply being who you are.
The Identity → Goals → Standards Framework in Action
Let’s put this all together with a real example:
Identity: “I am a successful content creator who shows up consistently and builds meaningful connections with my audience.”
Goals aligned with this identity:
- Publish 2 pieces of content per week
- Grow email list to 5,000 subscribers by end of year
- Generate $5K/month from my content by Q4
- Engage meaningfully with my audience daily
Standards that support these goals:
- I write every morning for at least 90 minutes, no exceptions
- I publish on Tuesdays and Fridays, regardless of how “perfect” the piece feels
- I spend 30 minutes daily responding to comments and emails from my audience
- I invest in learning from other creators who are where I want to be
- I don’t compare my chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20
See how it all flows together? The identity drives the goals. The goals are supported by standards. And when all three are aligned, achieving what you want becomes almost inevitable.
Before You Set Any 2026 Goals…
Here’s what I want you to do right now:
1. Define your “I am” statements
Project yourself to the end of 2026. Who are you at that moment? Write out 3-5 “I am” statements in present tense.
2. Set goals based on those identities
For each “I am” statement, define 2-3 specific, measurable goals that align with that identity.
3. Establish your standards
For each identity and goal set, define the non-negotiable standards you’ll maintain to support them.
Don’t rush this. Take time to sit with each identity statement. Does it feel authentic? Does it resonate with who you truly want to become? Or is it what you think you should want?
Remember: The difference between people who achieve their goals and people who don’t isn’t discipline. It’s alignment.
When your goals flow from a clear identity, and your standards support both, you’re not fighting yourself anymore. You’re simply becoming who you already decided to be.
The One Thing That Determines Your Success in 2026
After helping thousands of people set and achieve their goals over the past 15 years, I can tell you with certainty:
Your standards will determine the level you reach in 2026.
Not your goals. Not your discipline. Your standards.
Because standards are what you do when no one is watching. Standards are what you uphold when it’s inconvenient. Standards are the difference between who you say you want to be and who you actually are.
So as you head into 2026, don’t just set goals. Define who you need to become. Then set the standards that make that identity inevitable.
That’s how you create a year that actually transforms you.
And if you found this valuable, share it with someone who’s ready to make 2026 their breakthrough year.
Because the world needs more people who are becoming who they’re meant to be—not just chasing goals that don’t actually matter.
What’s your main “I am” statement for 2026? Drop it in the comments—I read every single one.